The me you haven't met yet

I have been burned to the ground recently. And one morning, I felt worse than I’ve felt in ages, but I’d made a commitment to speak to one Eric Alper, and I don’t let people down. I agreed to be interviewed by Eric for his Sirius XM show “That Eric Alper”, which is one of Sirius XM’s top-rated shows, with more than 1 million listeners. Eric wanted to interview me for a whole hour and make me his entire show, and I just had no idea if I could demonstrate in any way whatsoever that I was deserving of a whole hour of air-time. Nevertheless I logged onto the Zoom and off we went.

Eric blew me away. He’d been reading my work for as long as I’ve been doing it. And no, not this work. Not the bulk of what I’ve done with Blacklisted. My work before all this. My writing. My music criticism. He knew everything back-to-front better than I do at times. He quoted things back at me that even I’d forgotten about. Before we agreed to do this we were talking about my interview with his former client Sinead O’Connor. Eric is a publicist. He is based in Canada, and an essential piece of the fabric of the music industry, going on decades. He’s represented everyone from Jerry Lee Lewis to DJ Khaled, from Smashing Pumpkins to Snoop Dogg.

And guess what else Eric is? He’s a proud Jew.

Over the course of an hour, Eric just gave me the best therapy I could have right now. We talked about things I haven’t been granted the air to talk about for years. We discussed my early Tumblr days, my reaction to getting hired as a 25-year-old pretender who would be at the helm of the biggest music magazine, what it was like being on the scene in London in the late ‘00s, the early days of Twitter and being a troublesome brat, how much I miss the debauchery and the ridiculousness of it all. We talked about what great music journalism is, why the British press was the best, and what’s missing today in culture. And then, of course, we get into October 7 and why I’m doing all of what I’m doing now.

The conversation let me be me. It reminded me who I am, who I was, who I can still be. I do miss it.

Eric’s kindly given me a copy of the show to share here with all of you. I hope you enjoy it. I hope it gives you a fuller picture of this idiot you’ve been reading for however many months. I needed to take a break to find the light in me, and I’m still doing that, and this is why.

Thank you all, thank you to the music, and thank you to Eric, who can follow here.

And here’s Part II.