Operation Below The Belt

Remote mass penectomies triggered

Mossad just raised the bar on cyber attacks by remote detonating terrorist’s pagers in their pockets, all over Beirut. You read that right.

Many years ago in the shtetls of Eastern Europe, the Jewish people would pray eastward for a time in which we would be free from our ancient enemies. “Moshiach!” we cried. But in 2024, calling for Moshiach will not suffice. Mossad had other ideas. In fact, after October 7, it seems that someone came up with a genius idea that cuts straight to the oppressor’s schmekel.

Today on Tuesday September 17, in the busy streets of Beirut, reporting that over 1,000 Hezbollah terrorists became victims of a cyber attack by Israel when the pager devices they use to communicate with all detonated in their pockets, below their belts. According to initial reports many have died. Some have been critically injured. And the hospitals of Beirut are overflowing with crying grown terrorist men.

Here is one of many videos of these little bitches.

And here is a picture of one exploded device:

Did someone resurrect the mind of Ian Fleming? The imagination this required is inspired. It may be the most inventive operation the IDF has come up with yet.

It’s been a busy day for Israel. Also breaking: the Israeli Air Force successfully eliminated the Head of the Islamic Jihad's Rocket and Missile Unit, Aish Salame al-Hashash, who was hiding out in Rafah. And Shin Bet foiled an attack by Hezbollah against former chief of staff Aviv Kohavi who they intended to target with this remotely detonated IED.

If there’s one enemy you do not want, it’s Mossad.

Today’s cyber attack is no coincidence. How did the Mossad pull this off? Did they hack into Hezbollah’s network? Did they supercharge the batteries until they overheated and exploded? Did they infiltrate the manufacturers? Whatever the case may be, we can be sure that Hezbollah will be spooked from ever carrying their pagers again, and will be swiftly switching to Blackberry.

In the now long forgotten words of Smooth from the lost and remembered by nobody except me 1995 single “Blowin’ Up My Pager”:

“It’s getting kinda major, he’s blowin’ up my pager/Beep Beep.”

(This is a developing story, and all information is preliminary, with numbers and info subject to change)