During the midst of the news that there was another terror attack in Israel yesterday, this time in Tel Aviv, I was on a call with a Rabbi (and I won't name him because I don't want to announce what we’re doing prematurely), but this Rabbi said something to me. He told me I was his hero, which was ridiculous. But he said the reason was because I have courage, and he defined courage thus: courage is when you are true even when you stand to lose everything – it's about the personal cost you incur for your authenticity, for speaking your mind, for showing yourself no matter what, for being utterly honest, no matter the time or circumstances, for standing up for that which you love and that which you fight for.
I thought about this so much last night. I thought about it as I saw my name being spat on and my Twitter profile being degraded with grotesque, sexist, antisemitic slurs because of my own outpouring of support for Israel in the wake of incessant terror attacks and 11 deaths in the Jewish homeland in the space of eight days.
I thought about this as I counseled a friend who shared their heart with a person who is too scared to receive it and give in equal measure. I thought about this as I was sitting with another friend who is walking away from an engagement because their partner doesn't listen to their needs and because they know that they deserve a better life. I thought about this as I shut down an email from someone who hasn't shown up for me during two years of public humiliation and out of the blue told me they were worried about me and hoped I had “good people around”.
Courage is something that people who are lacking in courage smell. It creates situations where there's nothing for those who lack courage to do but attack or provoke, because a display of courage is a display of something so robust, and so fearless, and so ill-prepared to compromise on matters such as integrity and promise that it cannot be avoided. Courage is an ability to show up for a conversation and admit fault, admit unknowing, because courage is the knowledge that perfection is not strength. Courage is a reclamation of control, and a depletion of another’s false sense of that control. Courage kills the old narrative. Courage exposes the flaws in lies. When one expresses courage, they have to keep being courageous. It is not a one-off event. It is constant battle mode, and it can become the place of comfort. Better to live with courage than to be ruled by fear. Courage is a form of resilience that requires stamina and patience and overwhelming will power.
In Israel as a cluster of Springtime attacks continues, we are in a time of courage again. And so I want to offer these words of encouragement as you consider how loud you’re going to be about your Zionism. Something the Rabbi never said, and what I would add to his definition of courage, is as follows: Courage is how you love yourself. To be a proud Zionist is to be a Jew who loves themselves enough to say – I have a right to be secure, I have a right to a future, I have a right to my home. It's worth losing something over. It's worth losing the things and the people that can't reciprocate the value you lend to the world by being courageous.
A couple of years ago I was really into Joseph Campbell’s 'The Hero's Journey'. (OK stop rolling your eyes.) I loved the idea of this popular story in which someone is searching for something and in the end it was right in front of them the whole time. You don't see what is happening overall when you're in the trenches, fighting your fight. You can't. You might be striving to change your inner and outer life, but you cannot understand the end result before you get there. If you have courage you have the will to encourage change. You are not just changing yourself, you are changing the world around you. You're the catalyst for progress. You're pushing your environment. You're provoking action in others. It's you. And you will always meet with resistance, because people are challenged by change. Change forces people to look at themselves, often before they are ready. It begs them to question the ideas they were comfortable with, the habits they relied upon, the stories they tell themselves about the world and their place in it, about who they are and why.
In the Hero's Journey there's always a new hero. Yesterday's hero is today's villain, and the new hero has to kill that villain, and that regeneration repeats in a life cycle. If you want to be the hero of your own story, you have to keep being that hero. If you see that the same battles have to be fought right now less than a year after last year’s war between Israel and Hamas, keep fighting them. Fight them harder. And if in the facets of life you are a fighter, then I hope you receive the courage you put out into the world back at you. You deserve it.
Am yisrael chai. The people of Israel live.
I respectfully disagree with you and agree with the unnamed Rabbi--you ARE a hero! Speaking up for Israel is not exactly popular these days, and you do it proudly, unequivocally and unabashedly. Yes, you are indeed a hero. Truly.
OK! YOU ARE A HERO!!!!! and for all those thoughtless and reckless and nasty haters who "spit on your name" i think all of your followers would agree F THEM! AM YISRAEL CHAI of course. you are doing the bold work that many of wish we had such a voice to do. or we do in smaller arenas. but you are out there.. leading a charge.....you're polished, smart, sassy and spot on every single time! keep it going, Eve, keep it going. many of us you know from when your followers were only in the hundreds...and look at you now! you are a leader!