18 Comments
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Cynthia Lazar's avatar

Thank you for an excellent essay. Judith Herman’s 1992 book is a seminal classic on trauma but 30 years later we have learned that there isn’t one single way to heal. Exposure, reliving the trauma, isn’t for everyone. Some, like Romi, show extraordinary bravery in recounting the horrors. Others are more private or find different ways to protect themselves. One isn’t better than another.

Many Holocaust survivors, rape victims, found ways to compartmentalize their trauma and lived healthy lives in spite of their brutality of their experiences.

May they all find comfort and healing.

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Alison Bull's avatar

Progressive politics destroyed feminism. Progressives hate their perceived enemies with such intensity that sexual assault and rape don’t count if the victims aren’t in their pre-approved club. Jews don’t count, neither do working class girls in the UK. Crime against conservatives is cheered. I noticed it twenty five years ago when the atrocities against women in Afghanistan were in the headlines and all my feminist friends were silent. When I pressed I got a lecture on respecting culture.

You’re on their side or you deserve what you get. They want it to happen.

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April's avatar

Exactly. I’ve been assaulted multiple times. I know how it feels to talk about it. I can tell the stories clinically but that doesn’t make it less real. I don’t perform trauma. She didn’t either. Love to Romi and all my sisters.

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Tina Carter's avatar

Every time I think about Western "feminists" and their sick hypocrisy the rage'o'meter goes up to eleven... again. My progressive friends are *proud* of their politics. I don't know how they can live with the shame. I hope the shame invades their lives for as long as they live. Thank you, Eve... again.

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Bless America's avatar

Beautiful, powerful article. One of the revolting facts of today's " feminist" hypocrisy was the long ignorance by the UN women's groups of what the Israeli women went through on 10/7. Only most recently an acknowledgment was voiced. First, those UN women are scum. Second, the entire UN is a vicious organism that should be defunded by the USA.

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Tankster's avatar

Sorry, but "ignorance" by the UN women's groups? No. A thousand times no. It was complicity and duplicity

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Charles St-Louis's avatar

Watching and intently listening to Romi's brave and impossible to bear account of her brutal ordeal in Gaza gave me a renewed sense of the human indomitable spirit. The way she wore that yellow ribbon pin during the interview was very moving and brought home to me the heroism of this woman. Thank you Eve Barlow for bringing Romi's story to light.

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BeadleBlog's avatar

Those females that deny the violence Jewish women endured from terrorists are not feminists, no matter what they call themselves. Being a feminist requires just a few beliefs and ideas: that all girls and women are humans with working brains with varying interests and abilities, that all females have the same legal and constitutional rights as males, that we should have the same opportunities to use our skills and abilities as men, that we have the right to control our own finances, that sexual violence is abhorrent and a crime worthy of prosecution. The women you describe selectively apply the above only for themselves. Not feminists!

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Not so young anymore.'s avatar

They are not feminists. They are barbarian adjacent.

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BeadleBlog's avatar

Excellent reply.

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Ian Mark Sirota's avatar

The goal has never been to “free Palestine”. It has always been, for the few honest enough to admit it, to end Israel. And that, in turn, is the prequel to ending Judaism on this planet (or so the haters want).

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Liz's avatar

As a woman, as a mother, as a sister, as a Jew, as a human I am so sorry for Romi’s treatment at the hands of animals. May she learn to live with her trauma and accept that she is a beautiful person in spite of what was done to her. Sending love.

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Lori's avatar

Unreal, how people continue to treat us Jews, like less than. Despicable...We are human...they are not. I heard Brad Lander, a"stupid Jewish New Yorker" who ran for nyc mayor against Mamdani..he spoke to a rabbi and its congregants. about" Jewish Supremacy" the rabbi is in charge of THE gay and lesbian synagogue of ny , lander feels as Jews, we have a feeling of Jewish Supremacy and that we are better than others....how stupid he is. We live and let live, we are always helping others through hand up or charity. Some politicians find ways to mock themselves and de humanize us. We are not a PROP.. On the other hand, the behavior of these Hamas soldiers are purely Subhuman.. they should be castrated.

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Sharon Faye's avatar

Unfortunately women have always had to prove themselves when the crime is rape. Even worse is when in this case the barbarous treatment of Jews are involved. It seems that Jewish pain is less important, less meaningful and less real. Jewish women are not believed even when there is photographic evidence to back up their testimony. All the more reason for a homeland. There Jewish women must and will be honored and believed.

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Judy Illes's avatar

Roni’s courage and testimony will be a step closer to helping her process this torture. Her bravery is evident.

On another note, I’m perplexed by two experts on trauma- Gabor Mate and Van Der Kolk regarding their sick comments / inversion about Israeli’s. I have a hard time referencing their work these days.

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Suzanne Reny's avatar

Those two aren't worth referencing. They aren't experts, they're charlatans. Snake oil salesmen, merchants of bullshittery.

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Ruth Friedman's avatar

“There is no public monument for rape survivors.”

We need to ask ourselves: Why the hell not??

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David Bressman's avatar

Can you imagine if Romi were your own sister, wife or daughter? What punishment would suit the crime? I saw a reference to castration below. That wouid be a good start. The perpetrators should be hunted and caught and made to feel like they made their victims feel. And it should be filmed. If you mete out torture then torture should be your reward. Death is too easy and quick.

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