Guys, the Republic of Palestine is here. It’s taking over. Someone please call John Williams immediately. Palestine needs a theme tune (I mean, it’s not a state, and doesn’t have a national anthem). In the interim… we can use this.
Today we are getting ever more closer to the age of the Republic. The future is almost here. Can you feel it? Embrace the glory, Padwans!
The evil empire of Israel has been accused with genocide - the worst crime in all of the galaxy. And overthrowing Israel by any means necessary is not a disturbance in the force. Even if terrorists are at hand. Wait? Even if terrorists are at hand…? Did anyone else think to ask if there’s a system malfunction? Have they all been seduced by the dark side? Is Hamas the father of the Palestine Republic?!
Is it a trap? It does feel a little bit like the Emperor (ie, Pharaoh/Hitler/ISIS) is striking back.
It must be almost the hour of Armageddon because I am trending on Twitter again…
(Yep… Still got it!)
Today I had a thought. What if Palestine is Plato’s Republic? It’s a utopia filled with magical rainbows and genderless unicorns, and the Left have imagined it out of thin air because they need an ultimate goal. They believe in Palestine with the whole circumference of their brainless heads. Palestine Republic is their nirvana. A Free Palestine! (small print: free of Jews).
The Republic’s henchman were out in force today.
Here is Berlin:
And here behold the young padwans of America, throwing paint on General John Pershing in DC.
[Note: they are standing above a poster about Shireen Abu Akleh, who was killed in a horrible accident, but conclusive findings have shown there was no criminal intent. HOWEVER, if you want to make a fast buck get on this one. Money to be made proving Israel’s criminality here!]
The attack of the clones continued as the revolution attempted to break into the White House:
Not even did concrete Benjamin Franklin escape unscathed…
Meanwhile in London, things hit a Guy Fawkes fever pitch (and it’s not even the 5th of November yet). Fireworks were thrown at the Met Police in an act of bold rebellion:
A wise green puppet once said: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
The Republic demands that all terrorist apologists gather with 100,000 of their closest friends in the streets for group anger management sessions. Everyone is an individual, being individual:
The Palestine Republic also demands that all British veteran poppies are now appropriated as emblems of the new dawn!
(Pedantic sidenote: isn’t this crochet?)
Meanwhile back in actual Gaza; a crowd gathered to watch Hamas-produced clips of the October 7 freedom-fighting. (I thought they’d run out of electricity in Gaza?)
Yes! The Palestine Republic has gone global! It’s what progressivism was always about. A movement that never allowed Jewish people to have the same rights as everyone else; a movement that wasn’t about social justice. Palestine Republic is all about usurping perceived power! [Insert meme featuring George Soros].
Palestine Republic is where we all reside now. No more flags of other countries, no more memorials or statues from history, no more poppies to remember British veterans or respect for American war heroes. All we want now is freedom. We want to be free of everything. We want there to be nothing before this moment. We of the Palestine Republic want the mass genocide of everything that came before. No past, no culture, no way of life, no meaning or purpose, no function. Nothing. Just Palestine!
Give thanks to our young padwan Macklemore below, another International Geopolitical Expert, speaking at a rally today. Macklemore, famous for being white and for appropriating Black culture. Everyone hated Macklemore. But it doesn’t matter any more. He’s arrived at the Palestine Republic!
Welcome too - Susan Sarandon, who was born in Jackson Heights, New York. I don’t know where that is, but I know it’s nowhere near the Middle East. Doesn’t matter any more. She’s also arrived at the Palestine Republic!
I made a Palestinian friend this week. He is British. We are the same age and we like some of the same music. I like him a lot. Weirdly, we talk the same language, and it’s not Palestine Republic. We want peace! Alas, we live in a galaxy far, far away!
I hope every Jew I know throughout the world is safe right now but the reality is I know not a single one of us is. Oh well. It’s the price we pay for Palestine Republic. Queen and Senator of Naboo, Kamala Harris was right this week though. Islamophobia really does seem to be the issue…
It is not yet clear as to whether Palestine Republic will possess fast food joints, especially not Israel-friendly chains. Here outside a McDonalds we see the legacy of Yasser Arafat. One young Jedi just wanted fries with his happy meal. NO HAPPY MEALS UNTIL PALESTINE IS FREE!
And although Palestine Republic is almost here, there is just one caveat. Palestine Republic cannot include Palestinians. This is non-negotiable. Palestinians and Jews at peace in Palestine Republic doesn’t work. It would be a disaster for Palestine Republic. Then everyone would have to find another slogan to hide their Jew hate behind. From the river to the sea, Jewish blood will run freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
The 5 times Billionaire head of Hamas lives outside of Gaza in a very posh condo. The ppl pulling the strings and in Hamas could not care less about their human shields. Jewish lives mean even less. The fact that you, dear strong, relentless Eve can continue to use your words each night to fight astounds me. I appreciate you so much. I am grief stricken and appalled at the world I am leaving my children and grandchildren. I never thought Jews would be accepted wholeheartedly but I thought NEVER AGAIN would mean something. I guess it is a cliche.
Susan Sarandon is the female Mark Ruffalo. What they do is have a friendly competition for who can insert themselves into a global discussion when the stakes are highest (electing HRC and defeating Trump, say) and the consequences of their words and actions the most disastrous. (It’s more fun that way.) Susan Sarandon is the genius who announced that having Trump as president would start the necessary revolution for change. (Never mind that HRC was the most qualified and brilliant candidate for president we ever had with a keen understanding of foreign policy and a firm moral compass.) No no, HRC was not pure enough for little Susan, who wanted Trump, so she could sit in her house in Beverly Hills and watch other women lose their abortion and health care rights and other women have their babies torn from them at our border. Mark Ruffalo, bless his stupid heart, was a Bernie Bro through and through, a minion of that narcissistic troll doll who was the flip side of Trump, a demagogue with a history of accomplishing nothing because he couldn’t get along with anybody in congress long enough to do so. Mark and Susan are like cliff notes: whatever side they’re on, pick the other one. Don’t have time to read the news? Don’t worry. You’ve got cliff notes! The worst of it for me personally is that I once loved the movie Thelma and Louise and now I can’t look at it without getting sick. Fortunately, Mark Ruffalo is such a boring actor I just sleep through any movie he’s in. (Sorry about this vent session, I aimed for coping with dark humor this morning. This global nightmare is a marathon, not a sprint, as they say.)